Some days it hits me harder than others: I have a life beyond the wildest imaginings of my childhood. a) I'm still alive. b) I go whole years - multiples of years - without hospitalization. I've achieved things I always questioned my ability to attain. I still question my ability in some areas, but I believe future achievements are within my grasp.
Then there's this. How did a nearly friendless little sick boy, bratty and always willing to discharge his shame and pain onto others, manage to have a life SO full of such amazing friends? How did I get to this place where so many of them are genuinely close friends, who celebrate my victories with me and kick my ass when I need it?
Some days I lose sight of it, focused on the grindstone or the remaining shadows or the little failures and letdowns. Today is not one of those days. Today, I'm really feeling the joy. And it's right on time.